On the Beat  with Monica Mullan

Editor's Note: Monica Mullan is the AP beat reporter assigned to the Fighting Fish. Periodically, in addition to her regular duties covering games for the associated press, Monica will provide fans with an inside look at the Fighting Fish that only a seasoned beat reporter could provide.

January 25, 2010: Raffle Wheel Indignantly Retires

December 25, 2009: Fish Meat Raffle Saved by Local Businessmen

The Fighting Fish held their first Winter Meat Raffle on Friday, December 18 at Johnnie’s Bar in River Falls.

The raffle nearly never took place, were it not for the MacGyver-like skills of Johnnie’s Bar owner Dave Dintemann and Lazy River Bar and Grill owner Pat Smith. After the raffle wheel’s spinner broke on its first spin, Dintemann and Smith combined their talents and ingenuity to manufacture a new spinner made from cardboard, bar straws, packing tape, and a screw.

“It’s this kind of inventiveness and quick thinking that made for good business,” tycoon Donald Trump explained. “And by the way, Mullan, you’re fired.”

I reminded Mr. Trump that he could not in fact fire me, for which he then apologized. Fish GM Grant Miller, compared to Mr. Trump, was much more appreciative than analytical.

“They saved the raffle,” Miller said. “As a monk once told me, he who saves the day saves the night, and he who saves the night, saves the meat. I’m not sure what that means, but it seems appropriate here.”

All told, the team raffled off 21 distinct pieces of meat, from enormous packages of bacon to tasty steaks to a turkey the size of Buckingham Palace.

“All tremendously fascinating pieces of meat,” the Queen of England said in between bites of her recently-won stuffed pork chops. “A very fine display indeed.”

July 9, 2008: Monica's Notes

    Gilbertson: “I Wear a Cup Every Day!”

At the conclusion of Tuesday night’s win against the St. Croix River Bandits, first baseman Ryan Gilbertson had a simple declaration to make to his Fighting Fish teammates.

“I wear a cup every day,” Gilbertson said, reacting to Dan Morgan claiming that his own attempt to stretch for a ball in the dirt was hindered by the combination of his protective cup and his disdain for wearing it.

Gilbertson went on to claim that he wears his cup to classes at UW-Stout, to family outings, to church on Sunday, to the grocery store, at the pool, and sometimes to bed.

“You just never know what might happen,” he explained. 

    Sean Anderson, Dan Kretovics Join Fish for Stretch Run

The Fish were greeted by the appearances of outfielder Dan Kretovics and pitcher Sean “Boof” Anderson this week.

Kretovics, signed by the Fish in late June, had been taking most of the summer off after the birth of his second child and coaching little league baseball.

“I was doing some of the things it’s hard to do when you’re playing ball, like playing some golf and fishing,” Kretovics said.  “But when I had the opportunity to play defense behind Diamond Dan Morgan again, it wasn’t something I could pass up.”

Morgan and Kretovics were teammates both at UW-River Falls and with the New Richmond Millers.

“I’m looking forward to playing catch with Krety before three to four times before games,” Morgan said.  “Mostly not throwing hard, just hitting spots though.”

Anderson, who joined the franchise last year with the Spring Valley Hawks, had been touring Europe for most of June.  He was admittedly a little erractic Tuesday night, but seemed to find the strike zone in his second inning of work.

“They don’t play a lot of baseball in Europe, just a lot of soccer, man,” Anderson explained.  “There wasn’t exactly a batting cage off every train stop.”

So, what exactly was Anderson doing in Europe for most of June?

“Everything, man,” he said.

May 22, 2008: Giliuson Institutes New Training Regimen - Warrington Scared of Wells

"With the (huff) weather getting (puff) nice, it's good to get (huff) outside and get a little (puff) burn in," said a fully uniformed Sam Giliuson last Tuesday night from the shoulder of a highway.  "It really gets the (huff) legs loose, and I like to be as (puff) loose as I can be when I take that field."

As I was driving down highway 35 the other night, on my way to cover the eventual Fighting Fish 4-2 victory over the Red Wing Aces, I was surprised to see a fully uniformed Fish in a steady jog on the side of the road.  The bright orange jersey dictated I rub my eyes to make sure it wasn't the Great Pumpkin unleashed from one of the neighboring farm fields, but given it being May and not October, I realized my eyes could not be deceiving me.

"I've got to keep running," Giliuson huffed.  "Or I'm going to miss the carpool at Eidem's house in Prescott."  And with that, the Fish second baseman continued down 35, picking up the pace slightly, apparently to make up the difference.

After the night's game, a less winded Giliuson explained.

"It's nice when we carpool from Prescott.  I drive just a little bit out of town to shorten the jog, and then I'm able to get a good five mile run in before we play," Giliuson said.  "I gave Gutting an extra set of keys to my car, and he's nice enough to stop and grab my glove, bat, and cleats for me so I don't have to run with them."

"He pays me six bucks a game to do it," Gutting said.

Reportedly, Giliuson is trying to convince other Fish to join him on his pregame runs, but hasn't had any takers yet.

"Not in a million years," said Fish veteran Scott Warrington.  "The only way I'm running is if there's some kind of fierce animal chasing me, like maybe a P.O.'d Rick Wells."

May 21, 2008: One Fish to Another: "You Have a Man-Crush, Dude"

I had to ask my husband Frank this morning what it all meant.

"Honey, what's a man-crush?" I asked.

"It's when one man loves another man," he said, barely looking up from his Raisin Bran.

"So, like, when they are gay?"  I needed clarification.

"No, there is no gayness involved," Frank said.  "It's simply when one man says to himself, 'Hey, that other dude?  He's a good dude.  That's a dude that could date my sister.  I just want that guy in my family.  I want him to be my drinking buddy.  Heck, I want him to be my BFF.  I've never had a BFF before, and this guy here, that's the guy.'  No gayness involved.  That's a man-crush, Monica."

"BFF?"

"Best friend forever, Monica.  Best friend forever."

"Have you ever had a BFF, Frank?"

"No Monica, that would be gay."

Controversy swirled around the Fighting Fish dugout Tuesday night as to whether one of their players (who will remain nameless for the purposes of this column but I will reveal personally if you ask) did or did not have man-crush on the Red Wing Aces' centerfielder.  As the team's beat reporter, I was privy to the conversation:

"You totally have a man-crush on that guy," said Fish Josh Eidem.  "It's sick how much of a man-crush you have."

"I don't have a fricking man-crush," the alleged crusher said.  "All I'm saying is that I played college ball with the guy, and he set the record for stolen bases in a season."

"And?" asked outfielder Brian Giebel.

"And he's got a cannon."

"And?" asked third baseman Nathan Brom.

"And if I was a woman, I'd want to father his child."

"Boom!  Man-crush.  You're sick, dude," said catcher Trevor Gutting.

"I don't have a man-crush!  I am just giving you guys information, so you know."

"Whatever," said centerfielder Clint Kempf.  "Why don't you ask him to go hunting or something."